he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
