i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Randomize
