I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
