so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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