The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
