Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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