You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
