I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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