Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize
