..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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