O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
