it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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