but the lizard people decide everything anyway
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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