it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
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