He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
