My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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