Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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