I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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