did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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