I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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