she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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