I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize
