Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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