some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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