I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
