She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
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