she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
