i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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