after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
