i think my mom watched the whole time
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
