just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
