You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
me + whiskey = a bad person
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
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