so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
