they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Randomize
