yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I think I just sharted jello shots
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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