I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
