'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize
