...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
