he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize