Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Randomize
