How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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