I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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