do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Where did you get a picture of my penis
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
