long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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