I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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