chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
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