Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Randomize
