very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
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