:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
