I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize
